SANTA, I WANT THAT!

What do you do for the guy who has everything? How do you top last years gift, when last year you thought you'd never pull off a surprise again! How do you manage to incorporate health, safety, efficiency and longevity into a gift in the first place? Flowers die. NO ONE can keep up with the electronic industry. The flat screen wave is now OVER, cuz everybody's got one now. We as a species, have gone so far out of line with the planet that we are overwhelmed with all the things we've created - to the point that those things no longer mean much...no matter how bling they may be.

Well, wrap yourselves around a posh water cooler for the family this year. It may be a bit unusual, but honestly - it's a GREAT gift! It'll keep the family in safe drinking water and that includes the pets. It's energy efficient and eco friendly and will last for years on end. No longer are coolers a dumpy white plastic. Ok. Most out there on the market still are. But OUR water coolers were made for the hotel and spa industry - so ELEGANT design and high usage factor were entered into the formula from jump street. The end result? A gorgeous, wood or SS cooler system so sleek and beautiful - it's almost impossible to guess that it's a cooler at all! Check us out on HGTV!

Water Irrigation Principles Redefined

Gurus have been doing it for years, along with a few other interesting orafice cleansing techniques. But it all broke open and became a hot little trend for a short while when Dr. Oz, (yes Oprah's very popular TV protege) demonstrated to his audience and then defined; the benefits of yup, you guessed it - nasal irrigation!

Seems there's quite a history behind nasal irrigation. It started with an ancient body healing practice of Hatha Yoga. Back then yogis used a string. Don't ask us how they GOT the noodly string started up the nose because even if we did know, we wouldn't tell you.

Suffice to say, in time, someone figured out that sticking a pot nozzle up a nostril and tipping it so that water could flow where the string once did, was an exciting way to put a new twist on a rather knarly, or might we say snotty old practice. And of course, typical of human creativity, we've begun to add salt and herbs and a whole concoction of kitchen goods to the Neti pot brew; enough to almost compete with Top Chef gourmet recipes. Hey! Now there's a new reality TV idea! Create Neti recipies and watch contestants squirm about as they try out a Cayene Pepper Aroma Thera-treatment.

In the end, as millions of people would argue, if Oprah says it's good then it's GOOD. We at Aquaverve have redefined water irrigation in a slightly different way. We just navigate city water through our filtered cooler systems and provide good clean water. Whether our customers drink the water or blow it through their noses...is totally up to them.

A Water Driven Economy Looms

The world is askew, we know! The human population scrambles before the ominous 2012, (at least that's how some view THAT little number), to redirect focus toward more harmonistic planetary energy sourcing. Solar industry news has been a big hit in recent years and has finally gained major momentum, after a rather rusty start a decade ago. For new solar ventures have popped up in every local municipality to offer relief from the gluttonous and almost criminal ways the electric and gas companies have gauged the average man.

Water, we intuit is the next big energy source surge. Unfortunately, though the planet is mostly liquid, water isn't the unlimited resource we think it is. As soon as 2013, 36 of the 50 states are expected to face water shortages, so says the Johnson Foundation.

The Economy, Trade and Industry Ministry is already asking a Japan bank and an Australian investment fund to contribute to a fund for intense investment in water related businesses. Meanwhile, we're still waiting to see how the gov't and their big industry bed-buddies think they will charge us for sunlight.

No doubt about it, the chase is on for big biz to grab ahold of the last planetary resources we have. In the long run...who knows how it will all pan out? For the time being, we'll stick to simplicity and our 'good, clean water for everyone' motto.

What Will Multi-Millionaires Think Of Next?

It must be true, the old cliche about a man and his multi-millions. Give a boy a mega-boatload of dollars and see what he will buy...or build. It's always interesting to see just what a strapping young man would do these days with his almost billions...if he had it to spend. Since deRothschild does have a watery sense and fluidity, it should be interesting to see what this soul does with it in a lifetime.

In the case of older generation male models, (such as, dare we say...aging boomer Branson), we see that billions of bucks sank into a fuel snorting rocketship destined for another location in our galaxy...as if the message were, 'Earth's too toxic now to fix her, so let's just abandoned ship all together'. For a pretty price, 'elitists' can jettison off to the moon or elsewhere, if Branson has his way. 'Let's just leave the rest of the planet if a puff bloom of exhaust fumes to suck up, cuz we're so outta here!', may soon cry a wolf upon departure in 2011.

Well, luckily, we are beginning to see a new breed of multi-millionaires entering the planetary scene. Perhaps with each incoming male generation there is indeed a seed of redemption implanted upon Mother Earth, who may we remind everyone; is a 'SHE'.

Perhaps the lost flock of souls from Atlantis have returned. Maybe a few thou years in Etherville has wisened up some of them for there is a rather enjoyable, fresh enthusiasm to these incoming sorts. They're not afraid of taking the rotting lemons left behind by their elders and making a new kind of spirit-u-all sauce for the rest of us to savor. They're actually creating with 'connectivity' in mind.

This year, along floats 'Plastiki', the recycled plastic bottle wonder boat soon set to sail around the world - to raise awareness on how to take the toxic by-products of generations past...and save Earth from smothering to death. Wow....a toy with a humanitrian plan! 'How utterly refreshing', say the suffering, lesser paid women nurturers of the planet. Maybe the God-men ARE actually returning! But we'll still hold our breath for a bit...for it seems that for all the multi-millions one soul alone can hold, one tiny plastic boat seems a rather punative effort. Why not a whole first fleet of platform ships to ferry food to the poor across the waters? Boys and their toys. Perhaps humans ARE the slowest evolving creatures on planet after all, despite creative toy building ability.

Who's Drowning Who?

If you've paid rapt attention to the media these past two years, you'll have noticed that there is a 'not so subtle' underlying theme flowing through the minds of the masses. The new catch words of the decade are 'transparency' and 'accountability'. Human beings are actually waking up to see that we've all done a mighty job in selling each other, each other's poop. Yup. Call in Rotor Rooter cuz societal business as usual suddenly stinks like a sulfurous bog.

Take for instance, the bottled water industry. In the name of money, which is the sole motivator of the human race sadly it seems; big industry icons right down to the local Joe, all got in on the bottled water industry about a decade or so ago. The sales pitch THEN was, tap water was not safe! So major money was tossed into the industry of selling 'fresh spring' bottled water. Like a band of blind, hungry ants the masses sucked down that idea with mighty fervor. Come a crippled housing market, a crashed economy and one or two major oil spills, and suddenly, finger pointing has become the number one human past-time.

Hence the GO GREEN industry was birthed. In our new quest to make one another accountable....suddenly we find that the 'bottled spring water' craze we bought into ended up being mostly re-bottled tap water. This was largely due to the fact that the bottled water industry mysteriously slipped by the normal red tape of public safety regulations....and soon enough, naughty businessmen took advantage of the general public's overall stupidity.

Finger pointing aside, the bottom line is - we're all in this sewage hole together. We wouldn't have greed-mongers had we not allowed ourselves to be sold down the river - on any front. And when it comes to the water industry - since we're all feverishly investigating how to better filter our tap water after all.... now all we have to do is figure out how to collect, recycle and dispose of those billions of plastic water bottles we all had a hand in polluting Mother Earth with. Because in the end...we're all accountable!

Another Human Query for The Master...

'Oh, Aqua Guru...we are a society in need of advice. What sayeth you to all of the perplexed human beings who have had the pulp squeezed out of them? How do the miniscule masses manage to survive the massive blunders of the rich rulemakers? How do we tend our gardens when the very seeds we sow are under TAX threat? How do we manage our dimes and nickels when we are now down to counting all our pennies? What words of HOPE can you bring to us?', we pleaded.

'As usual....this no brainer', the ever so youthful old man spat. 'Ok, so SPLAIN'...as Ricky Ricardo would toot, we said.

'Human body needs no pennies to wake up. Human body needs no pennies to smile. Human body needs no pennies to dream. Human body 80% water. Human body needs no pennies. Ha!' Then he stopped. Silence.

'Ok, so you're not gonna leave us with THAT shriveled tidbit, are you?' we asked, incredulous at the thought.

'Live like the animals', Aqua Guru smiled.

'Animals eat each other', we said.

'Seek deeper', he smiled again.

'Care to elaborate?' we queried. We didn't dare admit we couldn't go deep under pressure.

'When humans are done squeezing humans out of the ability to love...then we guru's shall call you bankrupt. For now, we call you silly. No big bank, no politician, no major corporation holds you from your dimes and nickels. You do.

'Uh, that's not how WE see it', we begged to differ.

'STOP GIVING pennies, nickels and dimes to banks and politicians', he spat, clearly disgusted at our stupidity. 'Bunnies only eat the grass that they need that day. Be like joyous bunnies and....' ..... and then he toddled off right in mid-sentance, leaving us to ponder the wonder of nature's cutest furballs. Well, Easter's right around the bend. Perhaps we should query Easter Bunny when he hops by.

Ice Olympics, A Frigid Mess or Mud Puddle?

They train hard, for four years at a clip just so that we the masses can view them swish and swirl...and twirl in the air for that matter... all for about 4 minutes and 40 seconds. What a thrill it is to watch grown men swivel this way and that, when the majority of the male species would prefer to swagger. But in the case of the Olympics, all's fair in elasti-wearland....and it was a real treat for both men and women from around the globe to tune in and view the talented fellas on display. That is until medal granting time.

Eerily like the quality of water, human emotions ran from oceanic tides of ecstasy to ice colder than the floor that night.... as the silver winner, most likely amped up on pure adrenalyn, spilled his guts and emotions to ravenous news reporters...who swallowed up every drop of spit that flew from the Olympian's mouth. Was it just water on the tongue or a calculated ice-pik stab at the gold winner - who by all means, should have had at least one special moment free of 'OPM'...(other people's madness).

After all, four years is a long time to wait for anything. Most of us have the IQ of an infant when it comes to patiently working toward any goal or thing in life. These guys should have gotten a medal just for their long term efforts alone.

Was it the prior Russian Judge cheating scandal that launched the salty tsunami or was it just the pant-wetting tantrums of a poor sport athlete? Who knows? One thing is for sure. Humans, who are made up of approximately 70% water, begin taking on all the qualities of it when their mettle has been tested. Icy, fluid, soggy, wet and wildly uncontainable. This year's 2010 Olympic Men's Ice Skating Event almost washed the tarnish off the Tanya Harding Ordeal. But wait....there's more to come! Stay tuned for Johhny Weir's new Reality TV Fashionista show!